so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
