Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
