this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
