Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
