funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
