Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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