anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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