On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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