so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize