I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
