I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Drake has all the answers
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
