I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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