my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
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