i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize