That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
