I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
