But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize