spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
