oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
