I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
i've created a new STD.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize