Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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