is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize