I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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