Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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