just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
