Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
