I feel like I'm in dance class right now
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
40s are totally the cure
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize