Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
