And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
