First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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