I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
