she was so not down for the gang bang
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
