were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
