Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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