This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize