i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
