You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
