I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
