I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I look better un-naked...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
