The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
