try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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