I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
