No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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