sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
