3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
