I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
