hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
