i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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