brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I will be naked everywhere
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize