i wish my penis had a tongue
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
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