burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
