it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
