so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
