Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
