So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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