I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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