watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
