ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
