with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
