Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
