How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
