I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I understand Curling. That high.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
