Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My ass is underappreciated
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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