Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
