I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
