be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize